When In Doubt: DANCE

Greed, Harpo:39, 6006 YD

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Po

Pride, Harpo:38, 6006 YD

“Po” was coined by psychologist Edward De Bono as a means of helping Lateral Thinking, which is what some people describe as ‘thinking outside the box’ but could be more accurately described as thinking beyond the normal Aristotelian Laws Of Thought. It is used as a method of changing perspectives and roads of thought.

Whereas a normal question such as “2 men dig a hole 5 feet deep in 3 hours, but how deep would it be if 23 men dug for 5 hours?” would be answered by simple mathematics De Bono’s “Po” would help jumpstart the thinking beyond the usual walls of imagination. For instance if you put the “hole” sandwiched with a ‘po’ and, say,”forest” like so:

hole po forest

. . . you might decide that 23 men digging a hole in a forest would be an unnecessarily complicated affair, and think about digging the hole elsewhere.

While Po might not be overly helpful in a standard math problem it would be extremely helpful in most arts, and in several other areas of life today.

Take some time to consider the following:

-flowers po murder

-children po UFOs

-rabbits po volcanoes

-war po homecooking

-death po comedy

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Go West!

Gluttony, Harpo:35, 6006 YD

There is a town which is now strongly calling the Baron’s name . . .

I have always enjoyed people who didn’t take politics in an overly serious manner, after all I completely agree with the late Dr. Leary that the only rational way to discuss politics is “on all fours”, so it was with immense pleasure that I found out that the town of Florissant, Colorado has an ass as its mayor.

Yes, a donkey.

His name is Paco Bell.

Any town with enough humour and disrespect for politics to elect a donkey as mayor is a town that I would love. I wonder if they have room for my distillery?

And, before you try to argue that the election was fixed with some sort of rigged balloting system which can’t be traced (does that happen?) let me report to you that there were indeed other candidates, two of which didn’t bother to show up, and another donkey named Birdie. They certainly have a great respect for asses in Florissant, maybe I could win the vote too?

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Illuminati End Of The World Projects

Lust, Harpo:33, 6006 YD

FROM: Ramses Colossus,
Quinti-Primi Illuminati, Hermes Trismegistus Cabal

TO: Baron von Hoopla, KSC
Esoteric Order Of Eris, Kaufman Kabal

Hoopla:

As we discussed at the zoo the other day, our plans for bringing about the End Of The World have been in motion for many years now. As I’m sure you are aware there are two lessons to any story, the obvious exoteric lesson, and the less obvious esoteric lesson. In regards to the End Of The World idea, consider the esoteric idea underneath the obvious, and it will become more clear. I’m talking about Revolution Of The Mind, Hoops. Of course, nothing of the sort has happened yet, but we’re making progress.

You will -of course- remember in an earlier memo when I mentioned that we had been printing books blank, well that was simply the whipped cream on the pumpkin pie that mama made which nobody wants to eat because its so perfect it looks like it should be in magazine ad . . . in other words, nothing.

Here’s some of what we’ve been working on:

-In 1963 we completely altered all sex education courses in North America, deleting any references to how noses and eyebrows also grow at puberty. This small change has resulted in more anti-social behavior than violent TV, video games or hip hop music combined. So far nobody has put it together.

-Bendy Straws. Not a single one has worked since 1982. This of course renders the straw completely useless. This one is subtle, but has profound effects. Have you noticed the rising state of anger in children during the last decade or so? Blame the straws. Of course, this is currently nothing. There’s always a second act – wait until 2010 when ONLY bendy straws will be manufactured.

-We introduced Family Fued in late 1976 in an attempt to push the idea of herd mentality over the cliff, but even we were surprised by the zeal the public showed in attempting to be just like everyone else. In retrospect, this could be because we went with our softer title, which encouraged competition, instead of our original choice which we eventually deemed too obvious: “Be Like Me”. Live and learn.

-Since the invention of the bikini bathing suit in 1946 we have been changing the way doctors are taught to cut umbilical cords, thereby subtly deforming the appearance of the average belly button over time in North America. Grotesque bellybuttons undermine a society’s sense of self worth, but of course only if they are always visible, so once belly button esthetics reached an all-time low we introduced the fad of the bellytop. Self esteem and IQ levels plummeted across the continent – but wait until 2009, when the male bellytop fad is introduced. PANDEMONIUM!

There’s more of course, but I’m pressed for time, being a very busy man. I can’t say much about the project I am currently working on, but I can say that it involves the S Club 7 and Outer Space. Chew on that!

TTFN,

Ramses

PS: Concerning that Christopher Lee comment I happen to think I look more like Frank Langella, and sound more like Orson Welles.

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Sunset

Greed, Harpo:32, 6006 YD

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The Origin Of Modern Tarot

Gluttony, Harpo:28, 6006 YD

I have it on good authority from my contact on the ‘inside’ that the first recorded tarot deck was created by a Mrs. Eugenia Fish in the 800s (CE) but that she based the cards on an older Atlantean deck which was common knowledge at the time – the differences that Mrs. Fish brought to what is known now as the more or less common deck was the addition of the Fool card, which she included out of respect for her dead husband Roland Fish the Idiot of Ford, who was crushed beneath the largest crouton in history, which was being created for Emperor Charlemagne, to be added to the World’s Biggest Salad, which was intended to be one of the Wonders of the World, but never really took off.

In addition to the adding of the Fool, Mrs. Fish also cut out some of the less popular Atlantean trumps, which were 8 – “The Hangnail”, 12 – “Gut Rot”, and the infinitely unpopular 15 – “Halitosis”. I think most modern tarot scholars would admit that her changes were prudent.

Mrs. Fish didn’t only invent modern tarot either, she also invented Backgammon, Monopoly, Strip poker, and Battleship. She truly was a Renaissance woman, before the Renaissance.

Any more questions?

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Brains

Envy, Harpo:27, 6006 YD

I’m giving a lot of thought today to standard ideas of left brain/right brain . . . no conclusions really, but I’ve been considering that from reading Leary’s 8-Circuits Of Human Consciousness there seems to be not only a left brain and a right brain mentality but also a ‘top brain’ and ‘bottom brain’; the bottom brain being the old reptile brain of ‘forward/backward’ thinking, and the newer mammalian top brain which is able to comprehend more abstract concepts.

This of course leads me to wonder whether there is anything in a concept of ‘front brain’ and ‘back brain’? Something to consider.

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Dharma Jam!

Greed, Harpo:25, 6006 YD

are abstract jellybeans really abstract?

photo taken by Apostasia Gloriana, Keeper of the Weee!

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