Greed, Chico:1, 6006 YD
Feeling unknown and you’re all alone? Flesh and bone by the telephone?
Well, lift up the receiver, I’ll make you a believer!
Available now . . . your OWN, PERSONAL Eris!
The Goddess is too busy instigating episodes like Michael Richard’s recent tirade, and the almost tsunami off the coast of Japan to bother listening to the whiney requests and bitching you fill her voice mail with on a day to day basis – what, you thought all that strife just HAPPENED by mistake? No, the Goddess is out there day and night doing research, poking and provoking people and places and things to reach their breaking points, without the benefit of a personal assistant or crack team of specialists; this is a one deity operation, so she certainly does not have time to hear you bitch about the mundane aspects of your questions about strife, attempts at causing strife, alternate attempts at halting strife or anything in between – but we do.
We have all the time in the world, provided you are willing to pay for it. Now, your own personal Eris is just a phonecall away . . . call us up and bitch about your day, or request revenge, or plead for someone’s life – we won’t promise it will get you anywhere, but there were no promises with the genuine article Eris anyway. At least with us you know someone is listening, or at the very least: recording.
Call us at 1-800-5-STRIFE, or 1-800-578-7433, only 23 dollars per minute! Intergalactic long distance charges may apply!