Archive for December, 2006

Boy Buddha Returns With Sword

December 27, 2006

Lust, Chico:37, 6006 YD

The mystery surrounding a teenaged village boy, hailed as a reincarnation of the Buddha by devotees in Nepal and abroad, thickened with his reappearance in a forest almost nine months after he vanished from his meditation site in southern Nepal.

Ram Bahadur Bomjan, a 17-year-old from Ratanpuri village in Bara district, became an international celebrity and a myth after the local media reported the boy wonder to be praying for enlightenment like the Buddha under a tree without taking any food or water for nearly 10 months.

Devotees and the curious began thronging the jungle for a sight of the skeletal boy sitting cross-legged under a peepul tree, with his eyes tightly shut.

Though there were efforts by scientists to subject him to tests to see if he had really not taken any food or water, as his followers claimed, the attempts were blocked by an organised group of disciples.

Bomjan, who had reportedly told his family he was not the Buddha but the reincarnation of a lesser Buddhist monk and needed to pray for six years to attain ultimate knowledge and salvation, created an even greater mystery when he vanished from the spot in March, leaving his white robes behind.

Some of the villagers in the area claimed they had seen him walking away, saying his meditation was disturbed by the din made by people coming to see him.

‘I am going in search of peace and will return after six years,’ the boy reportedly said.

Though security forces and villagers combed the village in the days after the teen’s disappearance, he could not be found.

Almost nine months later, the missing prodigy was now discovered by herdsmen on Christmas Day in Baghjhori Bhataghari forest in Piluwa village, about 150 km east of Kathmandu.

Photographs in the local papers Tuesday showed the teen, wrapped in white clothes sitting on the ground in the forest, surrounded by onlookers.

In the ensuing months, his hair has grown very long, reaching his shoulders and his nails looked long and unkept, media reports said.

The teen also looked plump and well-fed. However, he was quoted by the media as saying that in these nine months, he had been roaming in the forest, living on herbs.

But the most startling change in his appearance was the sword he now carries with him. Bomjan did not say how he came by it, simply saying that he was carrying it for his protection.

‘Even the Buddha looked after his own security,’ he told the media.

The boy also said he was driven away from his earlier meditation site by the din made by drunkards.

After his disappearance, for some time there was speculation that he could have been abducted by the Maoist guerrillas, who do not believe in any religion.

Original Story

What Else Is There To Say, But . . .

December 22, 2006

Gluttony, Chico:32, 6006 YD

I give you Mark Discordia

King Of The Booze On: BOOZE

December 21, 2006

Envy, Chico:31, 6006 YD

It’s around this time of the year that people around the world really begin to pay attention to my subjects: the many liquors, beers, and wines of the world. I see people raising the wrist all over town, and hear people hiccup to one another “T’is the Season!” – which warms both the cockles of my heart, and the heart of my cockles. It pleases me to know that I can in some way bring joy to people at the time of their year when they celebrate the birth of a 40th century jewish stone mason.

However, a certain story in the news which came to my attention recently has brought me some dismay – I don’t like to see my subjects besmirched in the media, after all. The story is -of course- the recent ‘scandal’ surrounding Miss USA, Tara Conner. Miss Conner has been stomped from all sides by the media in the last week or so for doing no more than ‘drinking under age’ . . . something any well-rounded individual has done in their own past (easily forgotten when on the witch-hunt bandwagon). How under age was she exactly? About a week; Tara turned 21 (the abominably high legal age in most US states) this past MONDAY. She almost got dumped as Miss USA for drinking a week before her birthday.

I feel at this point it would be prudent to remind my readers that Eris is also the goddess of Bureaucracy.

My point, though, is not about her drinking under age. My point, rather, is directed at the last sentence in the most recent article I read about the incident: “Miss Conner will be entering rehab.” She will be WHAT? Entering REHAB? For drinking a WEEK before her LEGAL BIRTHDAY? What in the goddess’ name could be the point of this? Are there not hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of people more legitimately needing rehab counseling than this poor woman? She should be drinking for krist’s sake! SHE’S 21! I don’t even remember the age of twenty-one.

This obsession with rehab has grown to monumental proportions. There are two things the people of North America love: someone entering rehab, and someone forced to apologize.

I need a drink.

Anonymous Hermit Day

December 20, 2006

Lust, Chico:30, 6006 YD

Today is the day when all intelligent aspiring hermits remember the life of Paul of Latrus, and vow never to repeat his mistakes. Paul had always wanted to be a hermit, ever since he was knee-high to a pariah, and had been hording hermitty things in preparation for years: lanterns, furs, nuts and berries, pornographic etchings for those long winter solstice nights . . . not to mention dreaming up strange and glorious manifestations of his chosen deity’s awesome powers; truly an important part of a hermit’s repertoire.

He was more than ready for life in solitude when he finally waved goodbye to his family and friends and trudged up the mountain to the cave which would be his home, sanctuary, and bathroom for the rest of his life; but he hadn’t anticipated the biggest problem that every prospective hermit faces: fame.

Paul found it very difficult to rinse his socks out in the nearby River Hotsauce without hordes of curious onlookers watching his every move; he was unable to meditate while standing on his head -as was his wont- without fans asking “does it make your face hot?” or “can you hear China now?”; he wasn’t able to chant through the Trumps of the Tarot without people shouting out cards which didn’t exist (like ‘Halitosis’ and ‘Stubbed-Toe’) in a deluded attempt to help him out. In short, his new career as a hermit was already the pits.

Paul had an idea. He decided the best way to get rid of the crowd of gawkers was to frighten them away with his awesome connection to the Higher Beings, and promptly began to start vomiting blood everywhere and anywhere he went. True, he was dizzy, but he felt that he would finally have the solitude he had constantly craved.

Did it work for Paul of Latrus, I can almost hear you ask . . . of course it didn’t, did you read the opening sentence? His stardom, of course, rose to heights he had never dreamed of, and he was a constant attraction in his part of the land for the rest of his life, with an entire industry built up around him: selling candy apples, pony rides, face-painting, etc.

So, let this 30th of Chico be a lesson to all prospective hermits: if you are planning to walk off into the woods to become holy, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, dammit!

Discordian Ethics

December 19, 2006

Greed, Chico:29, 6006 YD

From : THE BOOK OF CHAOS AND IT’S VIRTUES
Section 1: Introduction
Syllogism 1A
Confusion causes people to think
Thinking is good
Confusion is good

Such is the art of Discordian Ethics. Confusion causes freedom, a state in which one must strive toward resolution. Confusion fulfills potential. Confusion allows individuals to use their respective brains. Discordians, above all things or almost all things, prefer the general public to use their brains, that they can become intelligent creatures instead of the domesticated primates the output-only television determines them to be. This revelation is the key to all proper ethical and moral thought.

Section 1: Theoretical Rhetoric

There is but one duty. There is but one thing that determines rightness in moral conduct. There is but one commandment. There is but one obligation, liability, onus, burden, load, responsibility, decree, dictate, accountableness, charge, weight, encumbrance, pressure. That duty, commandment, obligation, liability, onus, burden, load, responsibility, decree, dictate, accountableness, charge, weight, encumbrance, pressure is freedom.

Freedom is not that which the natural rights advocates would have you believe. Freedom is not a natural right, it is a natural event which occurs from it’s own essence. There is no freedom that dictates the right to do one thing, for if it gives the right to do one thing, it must also dispose of the right to do the opposite. Simpler, natural RIGHTS always imply natural WRONGS, and if freedom is a natural right, imposition is a natural wrong, and if there are natural wrongs, there cannot be complete freedom. Furthermore, freedom is said to occur in nature due to a separate reason, namely, the existence of mankind. This is an incorrect postulation. Freedom does not necessarily exist for mankind (i.e., there can exist a man who is not free), as it does not necessarily exist for birds, trees, or algae. It does not exist because mankind exists. This is evident in the fact that it lies syntactically away from the subject/object connexion. The sentence “The bird ate the worm” does not imply that the bird was free to eat the worm. Likewise, “the boy swam across the river” does not indicate any particular freedom, the indicator is one of action. It can be said, therefore, that mankind’s existence does cause to occur action, but does not cause to occur freedom.

Western culture has also done a great deal to derange the meaning of freedom. Among Westerners, there is a common misconception deriving from the incidental association of the concept “freedom” with the concept “freedom of choice”. This is what the Western culture has valuated – a freedom that is conceptualized by the ability to distinguish, separate and select one particular object as higher, better, or greater than another. This is not freedom, but freedom of choice. Freedom of choice is a specific type of freedom, but it is not what freedom is. All readers are urged to perform the Disassociation of Ideas between freedom, choice and freedom of choice. (For more information or praxis disassociation of ideas, see Wilson, R.A. The Illuminati Papers.)

Yet another flaw comes from yet another noble and respected source. Webster’s dictionary’s definition of freedom is, as expected, “the state or quality of being free” and, also as expected, it gives a plethora of definitions for free. Most of these definitions have one thing in common, the word “not” – not being confined, not being restricted, not being held back. These are perfect definitions for what freedom is not; and freedom is not what these definitions are.

This is not natural-rights account of freedom. This is not Western culture account of freedom. This is not Webster’s account of freedom. Yet, this is what freedom is.

Section 1: The struggle of freedom

To say “I am free” is an instantaneous denial. It is never the case that any one is free, but it is the case that all should be striving toward it. Freedom embodies itself in that strive, in that yearning for accomplishment. Where there is purpose or desire, Spanish cajones, a need with passion for advancement, there is freedom. To see one’s self as far in front, ahead, and striving to reach that front is where freedom can be seen. When the front is reached, the self will have gone farther, and the struggle continues. This is why freedom is unattainable; when freedom is thought to have been reached, it has actually been driven further away. Freedom is an inclined plane – when one stands still, one moves backward. Mankind has been standing still for how many centuries, now?

Grok:

It is a good analogy to picture freedom as an inclined plane, but it goes somewhat beyond that. Man is at the base of this triangle, and the light or idea of freedom appears at the top. Man starts up the triangle side, yearning toward the idea of freedom, and in this struggle, he has attained freedom. He never can reach the apex, the idea or appearance of freedom, but at the same time, in his struggle to be free he becomes free and is only free in that struggle. When man stops to say “I am free; I have reached the top and I have freedom,” he lies; because if his struggle stops he stands still, and if he stands still he slides down the side, in an opposing direction to his freedom.

To fulfill potential, is freedom.

Section 1: Formulation of an ethical theory

If it is understood to the reader that the Discordian belief maintains that freedom is the end for the means, and that right conduct is determined by actions that promote freedom, SHe is wrong. Actions that promote freedom are the actions that Discordians wish to accomplish themselves, but these actions are not essential because of moral obligation, they are merely free acts in themselves caused in the individual’s struggle of freedom. It is true that the ethical theory is based on the struggle of freedom; but, if it was that right conduct was the promotion of freedom, there must first have been an absolute sense that freedom was the greatest thing to promote (in some sense similar to Mill’s happiness), thereby denying that freedom was unattainable, in that if it wasn’t attainable it could not have been the greatest of all things, as there would always have been one thing possibly greater, an attainable freedom. This theory would have run concurrent with the natural rights theory, in that to say “I am free” would have been not only possible, but also an accepted state of human nature. This not being the case, the Discordian Theory of Ethics will now be built.

To build an ethical theory, there must first be a basis of understanding, a basis in which all ethical theories have in common, a basis on which ethical theories are compared. So stated, it is understood that normative ethics allows us to give a rule of right conduct, and supportive reasons for that conduct. To begin:

Discordian ethics should therefore describe in some way right conduct, as in what one “ought” to do in a given situation. In a sense it does, and in a sense it does not. The free man sees his struggle and reacts in a way unique and individual to himself. His duty is the struggle of freedom, in which he attains the unattainable. His moral conduct would be “right”, because he has done so. Of the unfree man, however, does this make his conduct morally wrong? Is a person who is not striving for freedom being unethical?

Simply put, nothing is morally wrong. Neither the free man nor the unfree man can perform an act that is morally wrong. All acts have a potential, and where a person strives to fulfill it’s potential, a moral wrong cannot occur, since freedom is being asserted. In the unfree man, an act can occur and a potential can be fulfilled, but the spirit of the act, the emotion, the passion, will be different; in this case, no freedom is being asserted, so it would seem that this is a moral wrong. But who would hold an unfree man morally responsible for his actions? This act is not a moral wrong, it is simply not morally right. Acts which neither hinder nor promote freedom have no basis in it and, therefore, are excluded from the determination of morality altogether.

It would appear, however, that an action which is done by a free man in order to worsen his or another’s freedom would be morally wrong. As said before, EVERY act has a potential, and where a person strives to fulfill that potential, a moral wrong cannot occur. The consequences of that action are immaterial and irrelevant, the action itself is what determines rightness in moral conduct. Moral wrongs, then, would not exist in any action, despite it’s consequences.

Section 1: Applying the Discordian Theory of Ethics
Systems are made up of Order and Disorder. A system that contains only ordered information is incomplete, as is a system that contains only disordered entropy. (This is not incomplete as a car without an engine is incomplete, but incomplete as a hydrogen atom is without an neutron. It is not “unfinished”, it simply “does not contain all parts”.) The brain is such a system. If the brain receives only ordered information, it would never be capable of filling-in- the-blanks. If the brain only receives static images of disordered entropy, it will never be able to learn.
This is the driving force behind many Discordian practices. Knowing that the general public has an excellent idea of order but no clue as to how to appreciate disorder, disordered information is sent randomly into society in various forms to compete with the opposition.

The effect of disorder on an ordered structure can serve two functions. First, the ordered structure can collapse, unable to incorporate the new data, or second, the new data can be integrated and the ordered structure modified. (There are other possibilities of the order-disorder integration, but these are not useful for Discordians. For example, the disordered information could be discarded by the ordered structure, and thus rendered useless. This kind of treatment has been given for years by the government on topics like LSD research and some branches of quantum physics.) Of these functions, the second seems to be the more desirable. The breakdown of a structure is sometimes deemed necessary, but more often than not it appears as though the structure should at least remain intact, and new information just be gradually accepted into the structure. This would give a greater “value” to the whole structure, as it would be more readily able to accept further disordered information.

The application for a Discordian, then, would be to force disordered information into a society without the society invalidating itself, so that it gives either the society as a whole or individual members of that society the chance for greater freedom. Whether the potentials of those freedoms hinder or contradict each other is irrelevant, the freedom itself is the aim of the Discordian’s actions.

(Note, however, that this is not the only action that can be derived from the theory; there are other possible courses of action in, it seems, an infinite number. Since any given action has a certain potential, if there are an infinite number of possible actions, then there are an infinite number of possible potentials that could be filled. The ability for enhancing freedom by composing disordered information is merely one of these possible potentials, and is not part of ethics itself.)

To understand how freedom is enhanced by the integration of disorder, please re-read the first two paragraphs of this section, on systems’ order and disorder. When disordered information is sent into an incomplete ordered system, it can be integrated, and this integration can only take place freely. Until an individual notices the potential of this disordered information, the potential cannot be fulfilled. The ordered information will deal only with other ordered information, since it would not be able to understand the disorder. Only after an individual realizes that this disorder can be used will it be integrated into the system. This is a free integration, the only kind of integration possible.

Section 1: Application in Syllogistic Form
The application of the theory can be stated in the form of a syllogism.

Syllogism 1A2A

Integration of disorder leads to freedom
Freedom is good
Integration of disorder is good

This form can be used to place more specific subjects and predicates. For example, Syllogism 1A at the top of this report dealt with freedom in thought, with the disorder being confusion. The following syllogism further examines this. Syllogism 1A2A2B

Heresy exhibits religious freedom
Religious freedom is good
Heresy is good

Here, the form of freedom is religious belief, and the opposing disorder would be, literally, heresy. The understanding would be that organized religion can only be conquered by disorganizing religion.

Section 1: Conclusion

There are many controversies: the definition of freedom, the preference of disorder, the number of possible potentials, and others. They are all linked together by the Discordian Theory of Ethics, which shows that:

– Rightness of an action is based on freedom of the action,
– There are no moral wrongs
– Consequences are irrelevant to ethics
– Actions which have no basis in freedom have no basis in ethics

It is asked of the reader to delve into these controversies in an effort to draw them to their reasonable conclusion, whether that means ‘solved’ or not. Papers will be written, pamphlets distributed, the usual lot, but until the Discordian Theory of Ethics is studied and known by every individual possible, the cause seems lacking. The Discordian Theory provides an alternative to the bogus theories that were it’s predecessors; please read, write, listen, speak, and generally aid the cause.

Kao Duh Zing! 2.

December 18, 2006

Pride, Chico:28, 6006 YD

The very nanosecond someone says that the beauties are beauties, they’re already fuglies. As soon as the point is known, it’s pointless. That’s the way the cracker crumbles.

Pental and Pomal give birth to one another,
the Serious and the Humorous balance each other,
Left and Right lean on each other,
Salt and Pepper taste good together,
Grating Noise and Harmonious Music sing together,
and Night and Day play together.
Obviously.

Because of all of this the WiseAss sticks to playing without effort, and teaches what can’t be spoken of. Even in a game of Charades.

In every situation the WiseAss perpetuates, but doesn’t initiate; performs actions, but doesn’t own them; finishes with gumption, but doesn’t gloat. It’s because the WiseAss doesn’t gloat that he is free to play another day.

The Dead Revolution

December 15, 2006

Gluttony, Chico:25, 6006 YD

by: vexati0n

Face it, America. It’s time to give up the charade. It’s 230 years overdue, anyway. We had a good run of it, and around the end of the 19th Century, it even looked promising. But let’s stop deluding ourselves already. Let’s put away the Norman Rockwells, hang up the cell phone for a minute, and give the Republic five seconds of eulogy time.

We never really wanted this Noble Experiment. There are a few of us, now relegated to lurking in the shadows, only brave enough to show half our faces, and only in the daylight when there’s at least enough of us to overpower the riot police, who are going to miss the trip we started out on 200 years ago. But we’re a minority, and we’re going to be silenced, and nobody is listening anyway.

All I’ll ask from anybody today is to just come out and say it. We all know it anyway, so there’s no point in pretending, America. Just say you’re done with freedom, and liberty. Just say it. You don’t want the freedom to be different. You don’t want freedom of speech, freedom of the press, or freedom of religion. You don’t want the right to a fair trial. You don’t want the writ of Habeas Corpus, or solid education, or protection from unlawful search and seizure.

You want the freedom to agree. You want “Safe Streets” and you want “Guaranteed Futures” and you want everybody to slow down so you’re kid won’t be Left Behind. You want somebody to protect you from the Real World. And to shut anyone up who reminds you about just how bad it can be… Out There. You don’t want to live with danger, you don’t want to live with uncertainty, and you’re scared to death of living with you don’t understand. But life IS danger, uncertainty, and it’s filled with the unknown. So, just face it. You don’t want to live at all.

But, see, you’ve taken your security blanket, and you’ve strangled the Revolution with it. You’ve smothered the life from liberty with your down-filled extra-stuffed pillows. You’d call the Sons of Liberty a “Terrorist Organization” if they were around today. You’d run screaming into the arms of the RedCoats, rather than face an uncertain future with nothing to guide you but a few lofty dreams. You’d prefer death at the hands of a tyrant to the prospect of building a life where you have to make room for somebody else to build theirs. Getting to know your neighbors. Getting to know yourself scares you.

You’re not the America that stood up 230 years ago to shake off its chains and claim Independance and Liberty for itself. You’re not the America that fought with itself to rid its institutions of deeply-seated injustice and slavery. That America is dead. It’s caved in, rotted, and given way completely to the America that expanded westward over the corpses of defenseless women and children; the America that now pukes out empty rhetoric where action should go; the America that entombs itself with meaningless wars of choice. You are patriots of that America; I am a patriot of the Dead Revolution: the America that exists now only as the sweet-smelling perfume dumped over the poisonous lies you gorge yourself with.

The Eris Society

December 14, 2006

Envy, Chico:24, 6006 YD

I stumbled across this group about a year ago, meant to look into them more, then completely forgot about it, as is my unfortunate wont. For some reason I stumbled across them again last week and decided to test the waters with them . . . they didn’t seem like the kind of group open to just anyone but I was interested to see. I suspected they couldn’t be as insufferable as the GD, but who knows?

I filled out the online application form, and was quite pleased that I was able to list “The creation of the Nation of Quebec” as one, feeling certain this would gain me access to the group. Just to be safe, I made sure to include my desire to give a speech outlining the esoteric aspects of the Carry On film series – knowing that it would cinch the deal . . .

Well, it’s been over a week and I still haven’t heard back from the Eris Society . . . I guess my initial reaction must be right, I guess they are just fat, spoiled, middle-aged hippies who feel guilty that they sold out so early and are now desperately attempting to cling to the last faded vestiges of their youthful anarchism.

I hope they read up on Eris thoroughly, though, before they decided to take her as their namesake – she has a way of dealing with people who pay only lip service.

More on the Eris Society

A PSA from Wilhelm Reich

December 13, 2006

Lust, Chico:23, 6006 YD

Listen, Little Man: Your heritage is a burning diamond in your hand.

See yourself as you really are. Listen to what none of your leaders and representatives dares tell you: You are a “little, common man.” Understand the double meaning of these words: “little” and “common.”

You are afflicted with the emotional plague. You are sick, very sick, Little Man. It is not your fault. But it is your responsibility to rid yourself of this sickness.

You confuse the right to free speech and to criticism with irresponsible talk and poor jokes. He who has to protect the living against the emotional plague has to learn to use the right to free speech as we enjoy it in America at least as well for the good as the emotional plague misuses it for the bad. Granted equal right in the expression of opinion, the rational finally must win out.

What is important is not individual treatment but the prevention of mental disorders. You have locked up the crazy people, and the normal people manage this world. Who, then, is to blame for all the misery?

You have begun to play a governing role on this earth. It is on your thinking and your actions that the future of humanity depends. You give impotent people with evil intentions the power to represent you. Only too late do you realize that again and again you are being defrauded. You must come to realize that you make your little men your own oppressors, and that you made martyrs out of your truly great men.

You are different from the really great man in only one thing: The great man knows when and in what he is a little man. The little man does not know that he is little, and he is afraid of knowing it.

For you are afraid of life, Little Man, deadly afraid. You will murder it in the belief of doing it for the sake of “socialism,” or “the state,” or “national honor,” or “the glory of God.”

I recognized the deadly fear of the living in you, a fear which always makes you set out correctly and end wrongly. You had the happiness of humanity in your hands, and you have gambled it away. You had the world in your hands, and at the end you dropped your atom bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Through the centuries, you will shed blood where life should be protected, and will believe that you achieve freedom with the help of the hangman; thus you will find yourself again and again in the same morass.

I found what makes you a slave: YOU ARE YOUR OWN SLAVE-DRIVER. I have ceased to be willing to die for your freedom to be anybody’s slave. I tell you: Only you yourself can be your liberator!

You yourself create all your misery, hour after hour, day after day. You think the goal justifies the means. You are wrong: The goal is in the path on which you arrive at it. Every step of today is your life of tomorrow. You stand on your head and you believe yourself dancing into the realm of freedom.

You could have long since become the master of your existence, if only your thinking were in the direction of truth. You are cowardly in your thinking, Little Man, because real thinking is accompanied by bodily feelings, and you are afraid of your body. Many great men have told you: Go back to your origin – listen to your inner voice – follow your true feelings – cherish love.

The kindly individual believes that all people are kindly and act accordingly. The plague individual believes that all people lie, swindle, steal and crave power. Clearly, then, the living is at a disadvantage and in danger.

There is only one antidote to the germs of the emotional plague in the mass individual: his own feeling of living life. The living does not ask for power but for its proper role in human life. It is based on the three pillars of love, work and knowledge.

You beg for happiness in life, but security is more important to you, even if it costs you your spine or your life. Your life will be good and secure when aliveness will mean more to you than security; love more than money; your freedom more than party line or public opinion; when your thinking will be in harmony with your feelings; when the teachers of your children will be better paid than the politicians; when you will have more respect for the love between man and woman than for a marriage license.

You will no longer believe that you “don’t count.” You will know and advocate your knowledge that you are the bearer of human society. Don’t run away. Don’t be afraid. It is not so terrible to be the responsible bearer of human society. Inflated leaders would have no soldiers and no arms if you clearly knew, and stood up for your knowledge, that a field has to yield wheat and a factory furniture or shoes, and not arms. All you have to do is to continue what you have always done and always want to do: to do your work, to let your children grow up happily, to love your mate.

You are GREAT, Little Man, when you are not small and petty. You are great when you carry on your trade lovingly, when you enjoy carving and building and painting and decorating and sowing, when you enjoy the blue sky and the deer and the dew and music and dancing, your growing children and the beautiful body of your woman or your man, when you learn to understand and think about life. You are great when you hold your grandchildren on your knees and tell them about times long past, when you look into an uncertain future with their trusting childlike curiosity, when you lull your newborn to sleep, when you sing the good old folk songs.

Follow the voice of your heart, even if it leads you off the path of timid souls. Do not become hard and embittered, even if life tortures you at times. There is only one thing that counts:

to live one’s life well and happily.

excerpt from “Listen, Little Man” by Wilhelm Reich, 5948 YD

The Hodge And The Podge

December 12, 2006

Greed, Chico:22, 6006 YD

by Vincent Verthaine, Church of Eris

The Taoists have their Yin and their Yang.
The Christians have their Good and their Evil.
The Libertarians have their Rich and their Poor.
And the Discordians have their Hodge and their Podge.

The Hodge and Podge are the two sides of the Universe: the Hodge being chaotic and Eristic, and the Podge being orderly and Aneristic.
They are represented in the Sacred Chao, in which a pentagon signifies the Podge and a Golden Apple the Hodge, and are in constant turmoil; although one side can occasionally gain a temporary victory, neither will ever defeat the other.
Thus in history, the Hodge constantly overpowers the Podge, and the Podge then responds and overpowers the Hodge in its turn.
According to the Honest Book of Truth, this is the Eristic Pattern, which “will repeat itself Five Times over Seventy Three Times, after which nothing will happen.”
As of the present, the Podge is highly ascendent, and just about everyone, from politicians to cardinals to televangelists to various other crazies thinks that the way to solve the world’s problems is to introduce even MORE order.
Most of the so-called counterestablishment and even most of the people who are going on and on about freedom believe this in a slightly different sense.
From the Podge grows bureacracy, rather pointless laws, the ascendency of organized religion, the Objectivist Movement, and most branches of calculus.
The all-time (literally) champions of the Podge are the Bavarian Illuminati.

On the other hand, there are those who realize that the situation must be brought back into balance by introducing some good, old-fashioned chaos, which will lead to freer thinking, less orthodoxy and dogmatism, more expanded minds, and and a less hilariously inefficient society.
Though our methods are many, they mainly consist of doing very weird things to break through the crust that has formed over peoples’ mindsets and allow them (or force them) to reevaluate their worldview. These people are Discordians.
Because of the inherent balance in the Sacred Chao, there is a sort of built-in defense mechanism – The Law of Eristic Escalation. The law of Eristic Escalation is:

IMPOSITION OF ORDER=ESCALATION OF CHAOS

For example, if the government were to ban all opinions other than officially sanctioned ones, an obvious attempt to impose order, the result would be massive riots (chaos).
Most people, blissfully unaware of this law, attempt to impose order anyway, with comical results.
The most dedicated, such as Confucius, are considered Eristic Avatars for their trouble.
Unfortunately, the Law does not work for anyone who is aware of it.
The cyclic reversion of the Hodge and Podge caused by the Law of Eristic Escalation takes a distinct form, which can be divided into five seasons: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath.
Finally, the Law of Negative Reversal states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen.