The Parable Of The Sacred Bull

Gluttony, Groucho:29, 6006 YD

by: Sexual Deviant and Beloved Ex-Dictator: Enrico Ritzibottom Salazar

As Enrico step off tuna boat onto fine American soil he was immediately molest by strange man in rumpled suit with crazed eyes. Normally this would not bother Enrico, on contrary, he advertise for it . . . but this man was not interest in Enrico’s crotch at all, he was only interest in talk talk religion and philosophy. He ask Enrico: “Do you believe there is such thing as true religion?”

Enrico snort and repy “Isn’t pornography religion in this country?”

He told Enrico that it was not, which saddened Enrico for few moments; it was after all why Enrico had come to this country in first place. Immediately his vision of become a pope of porn melt away . . . he would have to find other way to get people to accept his ‘host’, he realize. He was only sad for moment, of course, because Enrico rarely has much to do persuading, being virile testicle squid he is.

The man pulled medallion from under his shirt and waved it before Enrico’s eyes. Enrico, in turn pull seventeen medallions from under his shirt and waved them around too, thinking ‘what strange customs these beautiful faggots have’, but was distracted from his inner monologue by man saying “This is call Sacred Cow.”

“Sacred Cow?” Enrico ask, then add: “In Enrico’s homeland that is Beatrice Arthur.”

“No no,” the man said. “Cow! See Ayche Aye Oh. Cow. It the singular version of Chaos.”

“Chaos.” repeate Enrico.

“Yes,” man said. “Chaos is natural state of universe. Aspects of chaos are order and disorder. Both are natural, so do not shun disorder as false, is true too.”

“You speak bullshit,” Enrico laughed. “Enrico like that.”

“This is not bullshit. This is truth that will set you free.”

“No.” said Enrico. “Is bullshit. But, bullshit is important.”

The man’s eyes wide in amazement. “Bullshit? Important? Is why?”

Enrico was surprise that concept of Bull hadn’t been taught to this man. What else was going to be different in this country?

“Bullshit is very important.” Enrico told man. “Bullshit should be spread far and wide. Always spread bullshit wherever you go.”

“Why?” ask man.

“Is simple. If you speak to someone and tell them truth you have made them think nothing, is true?”

“No, they think about what you say.”

“How many peoples do you know?” Enrico asked. “Most peoples, they are not all the way right in the head. Most peoples accept your information like a baby goat accepts your root. If you give them bullshit, though, the person will later find out about it, become angry, but then they will need to go look up informations themselves. They will need to use their own head gravy, instead of relying on other peoples to do their thinking for them . . . in this way bullshit is very very important. So spread bullshit everywhere, my fine friendly faggot.”

Enrico was about to leave when man call out to him: “But what if they never find out information is bullshit?”

Enrico turn back to the man. He shrug. “Fuck em. If they are that stupid, they deserve to stay that way.”

And that is how Enrico taught the silly Discordian about Sacred Bull.

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