Archive for the ‘Assholes’ Category

This Is OUR Century, Assholes

January 17, 2007

Lust, Chico:58, 6006 YD

“We do not apologize for a damned thing.”
-Ralph “Sonny” Barger, from Ridin’ High, Livin’ Free (p. 184)

“I suppose that in any well-ordered society people like us would be locked up or shot. But then you would have to get people like us to do the locking up and the shooting.”
-Jim Morris, from War Story (p. 158)

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”
-Arthur Schopenhauer

Yeah, thats right. This century belongs to us, the asshats, the Discordians, the Subgenii, the “crazies”, those non-authoritarian and radical movements opposed to the fundamentalist wave of churches, be they the “old religions”, New Age or otherwise. The time of your faith is dead, we bought the lease to the planet and now we’re willing to chuck the tenants out, before they cause any more damage. And not a moment too soon.

Look around you, o little Cabbage. Look how much your churches and faiths spend each year on recruiting. Look how far they go in their brainwashing tactics, promotion of mass hysteria and control over political bodies. Even killing people for not belonging to the right sect of your nearly identical religions! You’re hanging on, but only though great use of resources.

Then look at us. We’re all free men and women on this voyage. No-one forced us to join, there are no atrocities to our names, we don’t ram our religion down your throats through TV, marketing, or the state. We could, if we really wanted to, but we don’t. We don’t take to the streets, we don’t ram the airwaves full of our crap and we don’t try to buy politicians to bend the law to our own views. And yet we continue to grow. Maybe only a few hundred each year, or a few thousand, but there are already so many of us its impossible to keep count. Like the process of water on a rock, we will wear you down.

Its even expanding to politics. How many are catching on that the Right, Left and Centre parties are all backed by the same interests, that their only difference is which rights they want to strip from us? And so we continue to grow, the political non-Elucidians, the religiously anti-authoritarian.

The thing is, you will hand it all over to us. We want it all and we are willing to take it. But not just yet. We’ll shock and cause outrage among you, getting onto your networks as something to be vilified, which works out nicely for us, as most smart people have realized by now if your lot don’t like it, then it may just be worth looking at. You’ll do all the real work and hand it over to us on a silver platter. It will only take minimum effort on our part, really.

Your time is over. People aren’t interested in an “all loving” asshole of a deity who does nothing for them and makes their life hell for the smallest of irrational transgressions. Instead, they want to know who messed this place up so much, and who to blame. They want to strike back. Some even want the Truth, something in very short supply thanks to your dogma. Most of all, they want to laugh and to have a religion that doesn’t need severity and hellishly boring rituals, because those things are not only unnecessary but useless too. How many spent their whole life in such austere living, only to die of some terrible disease? To not have their prayer’s answered? Thats not to say Discordians don’t get sick or get their prayer’s answered, but they don’t promise that either.

This is our time and our century. You only live in it because we let you live in it. It might just be worth remembering that, once we move from the ridicule to violent opposition, once you realize we really mean what we say. Because we are the wave of the future, and it would be terrible to have to start using your own tactics on you.

You want an image of the future? Imagine this. A foot, stamping on a cabbage’s head, forever. You better believe it, pal.

A Statement from the Project for a Discordian Century (a PFLD sponsored think tank)

Episkopos Cain