Archive for the ‘Birthday’ Category

Happy 60th Birthday, St.Patti

January 13, 2007

Wrath, Chico:54, 6006 YD

Happy 60th Birthday, St.Ziggy

January 9, 2007

Greed, Chico:50, 6006 YD

St. Ray’s Day 6006

May 14, 2006

Once again we take the space of the Hoopla! blog to pay respects to St. Ray, the patron saint of Hoopla Inc!

On this day, in 1939, St. Ray was born blue, and was warmed on the open door of a country oven.


Recollections Of My Birth

September 9, 2005

I’m told I was born at 1:30 in the morning, on Harpo the First, 5975 YD, but I can’t truly be certain; I wasn’t wearing a watch at the time. I do, however, recall in graphic detail how utterly frigid it was in that room. Just about two degrees warmer than Eva Braun’s clitorus. Freezing cold, and lit up like Liberace’s Christmas tree – two of my least favourite qualities, probably imprinted that first fateful day.

I also recall that the foundation for funk was instilled in me by the first song I ever heard, which was Pick Up The Pieces by the Average White Band, playing on a tinny radio in the corner as I was pulled from my mother’s abdomen. Yes, I was a Caesarian; and I always get a little misty-eyed when I see that Alien burst from John Hurt’s stomach, there but for the grace of Eris blah, blah, blah. As the doctor / butcher pulled me up and out he grunted “Christ Almighty, I can barely lift this Butterball!” which isn’t very nice, but was in fact apt; at birth I weighed in at 23 pounds, five ounces. I wasn’t so much a baby, as I was a small midget. A wet and slippery small midget. Nurses screamed, and the doctor dropped me onto the operating table – I remember blurting out: “What the FUCK?!”

A cockroach standing on the wall called out quite clearly: “AND LO, THE BARON IS BORN ONTO THE WORLD. MAY YOU HAVE BATS IN YOUR BELFRY FOREVERMORE.”

Thank you, and Good Night.

(The Baron at age five. Dig the faux-vest!)

Hail Eris!