One night Quiche invited four friends over for some drinks and smoking. She invited Tab Matsui, who always worried about people and her boyfriend Don Mosher who was always worried about animals. She also invited Carmonita Scarfoni, who was always worried about life, and Toni Carboni, who was always worried about death.
Drinks were poured, spliffs were lit, and conversation ensued. Tab never took spliffs overly well and soon began to worry about the people who were being afflicted by natural disasters. “there’s nothing you can do to prevent something like that,” she said, and began to weep. Don, her boyfriend said “think about the animals though, they truly have no idea what is happening. it must all be a mystery to them. just like everything to us”
“what’s a mystery?” Quiche asked. Carmonita said, “life is a mystery. how can we know what the point is?”
Toni said, “you can’t know the point until you’ve died. it’s too profound.” Quiche began to giggle. Don turned to her, his drink splashing on the tabletop. “how can you laugh, Quiche? terrible things happen all the time. what’s so funny?” Quiche spoke through a bouquet of laughter: “everything.”
Tab asked: “you think it’s funny that we don’t know the meaning of life?”
Quiche answered, “no.”
“well then, what’s so funny?” Don asked. Quiche turned to him. She smiled. “i find it funny that you all believe there is a meaning to the universe. there isn’t.” Carmonita sat forward. “how can you dare to say that? if there isn’t a meaning then there is no point in living!”
Quiche asked, “no?” and began to giggle again. Toni sat very quietly, and finally said “Quiche is right. there is no point. if you think about it, it’s perfectly obvious. there is no meaning to life.”
Tab began to weep again. “well then what are we living for?” Don answered: “nothing.”
Carmonita’s face lit up. “we should kill ourselves!” Toni turned to Carmonita. “yes, you’re right. it’s the only logical response to an illogical universe.”
As the four prepared to kill themselves Don noticed Quiche was lighting up another joint. “what are you doing, Quiche? aren’t you going to kill yourself with us?” Quiche laughed again. “no, i have no intention of killing myself.”
Tab asked, “but why? it was you that made us realize the universe has no point.”
Quiche shrugged. “so?” was all she replied.
Don turned away from Quiche. “forget her, she’s just afraid. come on, let’s get on with it, i can’t stand this world another second.” and he, and the other three killed themselves, and fell back away from the table. Their feet stuck up in the smoky air.
Quiche sat back, gathered their weed with hers, took another haul on the spliff, and said “this is the life . . .”