Archive for the ‘Drunk’ Category

Making Grocery Shopping More Fun!

June 30, 2005

Ok ok ok – I know . . . I’ve already made excuses for a man caught riding a bike drunk, and now this . . . Honestly, though, this story made me laugh harder than anything I’ve read recently, so for that reason alone it should be important. Remember, it isn’t true unless it makes you laugh.

So, with that in mind, here is yet another drunken loser trying to make life more fun, and being brought down by the greyfaces again. Don’t let the bastards grind you down!

Here is the story:

DEVILS LAKE, N.D. (AP) – A man is accused of driving an electric-powered shopping cart around a grocery store here while drunk, endangering other customers.

Clifford Mattson, 27, was charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, Detective Sue Schwab said Tuesday.

Schwab said police went to the Leevers grocery store Monday afternoon, after reports of a drunken man driving the shopping cart into people and nearly knocking them down.

“He appeared to be actually driving after them,” Schwab said. No one was hurt, she said.

The maximum penalty for the misdemeanor charge is 30 days in jail and a $500 fine, Schwab said. A court hearing was set for July 19.

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Ride A Bike!

May 19, 2005

I don’t indorse drinking and driving, but a story here in Hogtown a couple days ago amused me. A man decided to try to party with some police, despite the fact he was driving drunk.

The driver, with a bottle of rum beside him, mounted the curb and pulled up beside an officer directing traffic. The driver told the officer he was headed north, but pulled over, saying he could see a party and wanted to join in, acting Staff Sgt. Jed Handy said Tuesday. Problem was, the party was part of the Police Week festivities at 31 Division. “The officer went to talk to him and sees an empty bottle of rum and a half bottle of rum in the seat of the car,” Handy said. The man, who registered a blood-alcohol level of about 0.29 – more than three times the legal faces a number of alcohol related charges, Handy said.

Here was a man who wanted to party, and didn’t care where it was, or who it was with. Despite the fact that he was drinking and driving there’s something about that mindset that I sort of admire. Next time, just ride your bike mister . . . there’s very little damage that can be done by a drunk man on a bicycle, and what damage can be done is usually pretty amusing.

Also, the website is now up and looks beautiful. I would like to thank Apostasia Gloriana and her brother Paul for all their help, I certainly would not have been able to do it by myself, I can barely tie my shoes. Presently, the links aren’t going anywhere, but that will be fixed in the next day or so.

  • Justified Agents Of Mummu
  • So, with a little luck the meetings should start to run smoothly now that the site is running.

    Hail Eris!

    *****EDIT: This website no longer exists. Read about its fate here.