Archive for the ‘Esoteric Order Of Eris’ Category

Moving Locations

April 26, 2007

Envy, Gummo:11, 6006 YD

I apologize if my posts the last few days haven’t seemed as focused as usual, we have been in the midst of moving temples. The E.’.E.’. has moved into downtown Hogtown, after being cramped out near the Riverdale Farm for so long . . . you can only stay in a silo for so long before beginning to go buggy . . .

Here is a pic of the new alter in the new temple:

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A Seinfeldian Moment

October 27, 2006

Gluttony, Harpo:49, 6006 YD

I had a rather Seinfeldian moment yesterday afternoon when I was in the coffee break room of the Head Temple of the Esoteric Order Of Eris with Dharma Jam. I was laughing about the paranoia now running rampant on a certain pagan message board I had been spending time on recently, and telling her how they had deleted an alt I had created (based on the Pumpkinite who attempted to abduct Count YooHoo in the summer) despite the fact that they had no evidence it was actually me.

“Can you image the nerve of banning someone because they thought it was me, but with no evidence?” I laughed.

“But, it IS you.” she stated, as she finished a crossword with one hand. In ink.

“Yes,” I said. “but, they don’t KNOW that. It’s really nervy. I’m going to have Faux Sloatman write a letter of outrage.”

“But,” she said again. “It IS YOU.”

I smiled. “I’m all types of people.”

The Book Of Generations

July 12, 2005


The book of the generations of the unfortunately named Baron Verulam von Hoopla the Fowler; Episkopos of the Kaufman Cabal; Grand Wazoo of the Esoteric Order Of Eris; Ruler of the Toads of the Short Forest; King of the Booze, and still cooler than a polar bear’s toenails; the son of St.Ray, the son of Camel Toe.

Camel Toe begat Slappy; and Slappy begat Little Ron-Ron; and Little Ron-Ron begat Big Horse; Big Horse begat Ozias; Ozias begat One-Eye and his brethren;

And One-Eye begat Ostrich Boy; and Ostrich Boy begat Susan; and Susan begat Wiley Willie; and Wiley Willie begat the Hamhock; and the Hamhock begat Little Zeke of her that had been the wife of Uranass;

And Little Zeke begat Roboham; and Roboham begat Jo-Jo the Sinning Sinner; Jo-Jo the Sinning Sinner begat Jim-Jim the Singing Singer; and Jim-Jim the Singing Singer begat Captain Rubik; Captain Rubik begat Tic Toc and his brethren;

And Tic Toc begat Stubby; and Stubby begat Fucked Boy; and Fucked Boy begat Fudgee-O; and Fudgee-O begat St. Ray the husband of St.Babs of whom was born Von Hoopla, who is called Verluam.

So all generations from Camel Toe to One-Eye are five generations; and from One-Eye until Little Zeke are five generations; and from Little Zeke until Tic Toc are five generations; and from Tic Toc unto Von Hoopla are five generations.

Verily, I say this unto you, the bullshit doesn’t fall very far from the horse’s ass. Fnord.

Hail Eris.