Archive for the ‘Hogtown’ Category

Don’t Sit On The Grass!

July 20, 2006

This afternoon I witnessed one of Hogtown’s “police officers” kicking a homeless man off of some grass.

The grass in question was next to a church, but he was sitting beyond the iron fencing, near the sidewalk. I had walked by this gentleman a little earlier, and he said not a peep to me as I walked by. Granted, the Baron doesn’t walk down the streets in the middle of July in spats and a top hat, but he has been known to be asked for donations from the homeless on occasion.

The “officer” kicked the homeless man off of the grass, and actually seemed to berate him as he walked away. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, so it’s fully possible I was projecting my disgust of the situation onto him, but whatever he was conveying was said rather loudly, harshly, and with a decidedly sour expression on his mug.

Apparently, those without homes can’t sit on the grass.

Isn’t it lovely chums, that we live within the imaginary borders of such a open-minded “free” country?

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More Heavy Rain!

July 12, 2006

It is raining bathtubs outside right now . . . I’m watching for any
cats, dogs, or frogs . . . this is yet another of several heavy
rainstorms we’ve had recently in Hogtown – no hail yet, but I’m
paying close attention to see if I can break the hallways of reality
my co-workers currently live inside.

And, of course, you know the cause of this heavy rain . . . it’s the
Baby Jesus crying because you masturbate.

Storm

December 15, 2005

The radio just said that a storm of ‘monumental proportions’ was moving toward Hogtown. Visions of the Day After Tomorrow rush to my mind, although I’m not certain why since I never saw the movie, and had no interest in doing so.

It must be because I always think of Dennis Quaid on Thursdays. I’m not sure why that is.

Surely this couldn’t be more of the media’s constant terror tactics. Keep them afraid.

At any rate, chaos in action is on the way.

Be Like The Dog

May 26, 2005

I was thinking today about the man who was planning to shoot a bunch of people here in Hogtown about a year ago.

If you don’t know the story, he drove to a park in the east end, planning to shoot dead as many people as he could before he was gunned down by the police. His car was loaded with guns and ammo. He got out of his car, and was getting ready to open fire when a dog he didn’t know ran up, and started to play with him.

He decided not to kill anyone because the dog showed unconditional kindness to him. The man turned himself into the police so he wouldn’t change his mind later.

Last night at the meeting we discussed small bits of change that can hopefully make a tiny difference in someone”s life. Silly things like blowing up as many balloons as you can on the subway, with other agents doing likewise. Try to tape them to the walls if you can. Drop confetti . . . have fun.

Who knows, you may not know it at the time, but you could change someone’s life.

Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia.

*****EDIT: This man later admitted to having made the entire episode up.

Saturday Observations

May 22, 2005

One of the goals I have set for myself is to be more observant; to try to be like children, and notice things I would usually ignore.

Today I had the misfortune of being forced to endure a long streetcar ride. During this ride I had a long time to contemplate the large, gelatinous invertebrate which was operating the vehicle. I say ‘operating’ and not driving because, as any TTC passenger could tell you, the operators of the streetcars don’t drive, they don’t steer, they simply accelerate, and decelerate. Go. Stop. Go. Stop. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. The guys who wear change-belts at arcades have more skill. Hot dog vendors are surgeons compared to them. Janitors split the atom. I’ve seen squeegee kids who do more in a day than these jack asses, and yet – and YET – the greasy shit who was operating our oversized bumper car actually had the audacity to have BROKEN a SWEAT. He probably hadn’t moved since the Challenger exploded, but he had cracked a fucking sweat. Apparently by breathing. Unless one can break a sweat simply by dishing out attitude. If this is the case, he was more than worthy to have rivers of juice running from his malodorous pits.

Somehow these ridiculously vile creatures feel justified in giving the very reason they exist attitude. They react to the people that come to the streetcars as if they are inconveniences, instead of what they actually are: their bread and butter.

So yes, today I got to observe the Hogtown Streetcar Operator in its naturally pungent habitat. Every experience is a learning experience.

Hail Eris.

Improv / Improve!

May 6, 2005

Here is one of the sites that inspired me lately: http://www.improveverywhere.com

I am taking my time going through the stunts they have pulled in the past . . . this is part of what I would like to do here in Hogtown . . . I think these small projects make people stop, smell the roses . . . like St. Ferris said “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while you might miss it.”

More plans soon.

Hail Eris!