Archive for the ‘Justified Agents Of Mummu’ Category

Justified Agents Of Mummu Forum 2005-2006

July 18, 2006

It is with some sadness that I announce the demise of the Justified
Agents Of Mummu forum. Known as the “Funny Farm” to friends, and
“DoucheBag Central” to it’s enemies the Justified Agents Of Mummu
Forum curled up and died earlier this week.

For some time friends had noticed the forum becoming listless, and
depressed . . . sometimes not a single user would post for days, or
even weeks at a time. Sometimes the forum would post to itself,
something it had learned to do in its early days when it was young
and lonely. The creation of fake users was a cry out for help and
attention, but was ignored by almost all, including your faithful
Baron, who should have seen the warning signs for what they were:
warning signs.

The last time your faithful Baron logged onto the forum there had
been one new user added to the membership list, which cheered him
somewhat until he saw the forum chatting with the user and then
chatting back AS the user . . . he knew then that it was only a
matter of time.

I would like to take this opportunity to read the Forum’s favourite
poem from the television series “The Simpsons”:

“Don’t cry for me –
– I’m already dead.”

It certainly brings a tear to a glass eye, don’t it folks?

The Forum was just over a year old.

Anyone who would like to share a story about the Forum may do so in
the Comments section below.

Hail Eris.

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2006 Bilderberg Group Meeting

June 21, 2006

It has come to my attention that the Bilderberg Group met earlier this month, and AGAIN my invitation must have been lost in the mail. To add insult to injury the conference was held in Ottawa Ontario, at the Brookstreet Hotel

Loyal readers know that the Baron is not one to spread malicious gossip, but he has it on good authority that residents of the hotel were paid off to leave around 5:30 in the morning the day of the conference, which leads one to believe that the conference was either hastily assembled in said location, or the actual employees of the hotel themselves are unaware one of these meetings is going to take place until the actual day of. Of the two possibilities I find the second more likely.

It’s a shame, really, that they again chose not to include me in their meetings about running the world, squashing the poor and promoting the career of the Simpson sisters, I had so many plans ready to contribute; Over population? There’s thousands of miles of open land inside the hollow earth just waiting to be ripped apart, paved and turned into multilevel parking lots . . . feed the poor? no problem, strip the west coast forests, hunt down the sasquatches and make “bilderburger helper”. In regards to the space race, we should be hunting down the people of Mu (or Lemuria, if you prefer) since they are obviously more advanced in space travel than we are, having been in contact with the Dog People of Sirius for thousands of years . . . I could go on and on . . . those chumps are missing out

For more information on the Bilderberg Group, click here.

Open For Business

October 31, 2005

The West Coast chapter of the Justified Agents Of Mummu is, as of today, open for business.

Hail Eris.

Balloon Review

June 18, 2005

So the Balloon Event last night went off without a hitch as far as I can tell . . . there were six of us that participated, and probably one of the two things that could have helped would have been the addition of more participants, if only to add to the sheer looniness of the entire affair. The other thing that might have helped would have been a few ‘plants’ to stay behind after and observe results. Live and learn.

Anyway, it was a good time for all invloved. The first of many mindfucks for the Justified Agents of Mummu.

Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!

Balloons! Balloons! Balloons!

June 17, 2005

Tonight the Justified Agents of Mummu are going to be assaulting the TTC subways with many many balloons of all sizes and colours. Why should the subway be a dull, pedestrian affair? Why can’t a subway ride on a Friday night be a bit of a party?

Have fun!

Life is short.

Hail Eris – All Hail Discordia!

All Hail Discordia

June 7, 2005

Chaos is beneath everything, like the little kid under the floorboards in The Changeling . . . just sitting there, quietly observing you.

The simple fact “is”, you are an agent of Mummu, whether you like it or not. Everything you do, every single day, in some small way, adds to the mania that is our chaotic multiverse . . . You can either add to the disorder, which escalates chaos, or you can attempt to add to the notion of order, which also escalates chaos. You are screwed if you do, and you are screwed if you don’t. You’re even screwed for just thinking about it.

Chaos is all around you. Fighting it will not help.

There is an old Taoist story about a man who was observed to fall into what was known as a man killing waterfall. He plunged in, was missing for a few seconds, and eventually made his way to the surface, and swam ashore. The people watching him were stunned. They asked him how he managed to survive.

“Quite simple,” he answered. “I didn’t try to struggle against the water’s superior force. I went with the current and knew that it would eventually show me the way”

It’s the same with chaos. Go with the flow, my brothers and sisters.

It is for this reason, I believe, that we Discordians follow “Hail Eris” with “ALL Hail Discordia”

Hail Eris. ALL Hail Discordia!

Sunday Musings

May 22, 2005

Not much to say for today . . . finally created the forum for the site . . . once we get the forum and this blog linked up to the site along with the favourite links everything will be pretty much complete. There will be gospels to add, but that’s a work in progress.

Ah, Sunday. Usually there is something off putting about Sunday, but tomorrow is a holiday. All is right with the world.

Here is the URL to join the forum before it is linked if it interests you:

  • Justified Agents Of Mummu Forum
  • Until then, Hail Eris!

    *****EDIT: That website no longer exists. You can read about its fate here.

    Ride A Bike!

    May 19, 2005

    I don’t indorse drinking and driving, but a story here in Hogtown a couple days ago amused me. A man decided to try to party with some police, despite the fact he was driving drunk.

    The driver, with a bottle of rum beside him, mounted the curb and pulled up beside an officer directing traffic. The driver told the officer he was headed north, but pulled over, saying he could see a party and wanted to join in, acting Staff Sgt. Jed Handy said Tuesday. Problem was, the party was part of the Police Week festivities at 31 Division. “The officer went to talk to him and sees an empty bottle of rum and a half bottle of rum in the seat of the car,” Handy said. The man, who registered a blood-alcohol level of about 0.29 – more than three times the legal faces a number of alcohol related charges, Handy said.

    Here was a man who wanted to party, and didn’t care where it was, or who it was with. Despite the fact that he was drinking and driving there’s something about that mindset that I sort of admire. Next time, just ride your bike mister . . . there’s very little damage that can be done by a drunk man on a bicycle, and what damage can be done is usually pretty amusing.

    Also, the website is now up and looks beautiful. I would like to thank Apostasia Gloriana and her brother Paul for all their help, I certainly would not have been able to do it by myself, I can barely tie my shoes. Presently, the links aren’t going anywhere, but that will be fixed in the next day or so.

  • Justified Agents Of Mummu
  • So, with a little luck the meetings should start to run smoothly now that the site is running.

    Hail Eris!

    *****EDIT: This website no longer exists. Read about its fate here.

    Weeble Wobbles

    May 16, 2005

    I refuse to attempt to write anything cute about Monday, as I did last week with Tuesday. Monday deserves no such treatment. Jim Davis has already given the ghastly day of the week too many handjobs in the last twenty-five years.

    Yesterday was the day the Toronto Discordian Meetup group was officially closed by the ravenously money hungry pieces-of-shit more commonly known as Meetup.com. I was informed by JJ on Friday (oh blessed blessed Friday!) that Meetup is helpful to some, it brought two of his friends together after all . . . I’m willing to concede that it has its beneifits, I wouldn’t have met all of the fabulous Discordians I’ve met recently without it. Or, maybe I would have, I don’t know. What I do know is that the meagre options offered by Meetup do not justify the price they are asking to keep the sites up and running. It is almost the same as the cost of running your own site where you can do anything you want. ANYTHING!

    Having said that, Apostasia Gloriana and I were attempting to get justifiedagentsofmummu.com off the ground at least in a basic form so Toronto Discordians could have somewhere to find out when the next meeting is, and somewhere to show off avatars . . . I know how people love their avatars.

    At any rate, we were both successful and unsuccessful last night . . . successful in putting together a suitable looking site, but unsuccessful at actually linking it to the internet, which is, rather, the critical part. Being a borderline Luddite, I was of little help unfortunately . . . merely stroking at my whiskers and saying “hmmmm” now and then.

    We’re like weeble-wobbles though, we weeble and we wobble but we won’t fall down . . . the site will be up soon, in some form or another . . . until then, Hail Eris!

    Live Mobius Strip Is A Go!

    May 12, 2005

    It’s on, brothers and sisters of Discord.

    Last night was the LAST meeting of the Toronto Discordian Society through Meetup.com, and from now on we fly by the seat of our fantastic pants. The meeting was a smashing success, we had the most people show up to a meeting yet in my time as organizer – eight. It’s just the beginning, but eight is a good number . . . Big Mama Jools claims it is the best number there is, and I am inclined to believe her. She knows her shit.

    At the meeting last night we discussed trying one of Improv Everywhere’s stunts to get the feel for it . . . everyone agreed that the Live Mobius Strip was the best one to try.

    In a nutshell, you get from 8-10 people to one-by-one infiltrate an establishment like a Starbucks or a Second Cup . . . somewhere people tend to hang out for a bit longer than your average diner. The agents sit, separately, and go about their own business. A couple enters, holding hands. These two agents will be the focus of the Mobius strip, and at first will probably be the only part noticed. They stand in line, considering what they would like to order, eventually the female goes into her purse and the male notices a pack of cigarettes within. They begin to argue about her hiding her smoking from him, eventually leading up to her storming out, followed by him. The other agents go about their business; one writing, and spilling their drink, another reading and trying to use the washroom only to find it locked, another receiving a cell phone call, another walking through with loud headphones on, and yet another sneezing and then clearing their throat. As the person clears their throat the couple reenters, holding hands. They stand in line, considering what they would like to order, eventually the female goes into her purse and the male notices a pack of cigarettes within. They begin to argue about her hiding her smoking from him, eventually leading up to her storming out, followed by him. And again, and again, and again. Twelve times, in total.

    In the beginning the others in the establishment will certainly notice the couple, and wonder what is up, but by the third or fourth cycle they will be noticing everything else as well. They will wonder if
    everyone is in on it, or maybe they are crazy, or maybe they really are stuck in time

    At the very least they will have been entertained.

    That day, their life could not be considered boring.

    Hail Eris!