Archive for the ‘No Prize’ Category

No-Prize Award

March 1, 2007

Envy, Groucho:28, 6006 YD

I’ve written about the No-Prize before, so no need to re-explain the concept here, taking away extremely valuable space from the most deserved winner . . .

Despite the fact that the year of 6006 is only about half way over, I feel confident handing out the No-Prize at this time; it would have to be something fairly monumental at this point to make me change my mind. This one is a lulu.

Without further fanfare, the winner of this years No-Prize is the creative team behind Conservapedia, the Wiki knock-off geared toward the conservative, head-in-the-sand type of person. Their entry on “Kangaroos“, for example, explains that “like all modern animals … kangaroos are the descendants of the two founding members of the modern kangaroo baramin that were taken aboard Noah’s Ark prior to the Great Flood.” What can I say that can top that? You can’t make this kind of shit up, O my brothers and sisters.

When I was on Conservapedia there were no entries for Discordianism, or Satanism, so have fun creating them if you feel inclined. Actually, there wasn’t much when I was there. They didn’t have any entries on Ghosts or Telekinesis . . . I guess they really don’t exist . . . sigh.

Anyway, Conservapedia, you can click on the above No-Prize image, and print it out, to claim your non-existant prize.

*****EDIT: The bit in the Kangaroo article about the Flood and the two original Kangaroos was edited out of the article as I was writing this post. Let’s wait around and see how long it takes to be placed back in.

*****EDIT#2: The Kangaroo origin is back up as of 11:04PM the same night, and the original author is NONE too pleased that his page was edited. This should prove to be more entertaining than a game of midget basketball. Stay tuned for more updates, kiddies.

The No-Prize

February 12, 2006

Anyone who read Marvel comics in the 1970s and 1980s is familiar with the concept of the No-Prize. In a nutshell the No-Prize was a fictitious award handed out to fans who noticed mistakes in the stories, but instead of admitting them as mistakes created clever reason why it wasn’t really a mistake at all.

An example might be Wolverine in an X-Men comic being drawn in the middle of a fight pounding someone without his claws, when in the panels before and after his claws had been extended. A suitable answer worthy of the No-Prize would have been that Wolverine’s claws periodically become dulled and need to be retracted and popped out again to regain sharpness.

Intelligent? No. Possible? Perhaps.

All around us these days you will find people answering No-Prizes without even getting an empty envelope in the mail for their troubles.

—–Fundie X-tians are foiled by dinosaur bones when believing the world to be only 6000 years old? No problem! Jews buried the bones in the 1920s!

—–Government documents about Roswell show that it was indeed bits and pieces of a top secret weather balloon aren’t as fun as believing in crashed UFO’s? No problem! The government forged the documents!

—–Someone crashed a couple planes into some big buildings, but we don’t know who? Forget it! It was Saddam, and he has WOMD!

I propose that Discordians revive the tradition of the No-Prize and send them out to all the people who use specious reasoning to satiate themselves.