Archive for the ‘Patapsychology’ Category

Canadian Director Of CSICON

March 23, 2007

Gluttony, Groucho:50, 6006 YD (later)

As I stumbled out of the Head Temple of the Esoteric Order Of Eris last night, hiccuping to myself, and cursing the rather cheap ale which had been pushed upon me, a figure lurched from the shadows and asked if I was one Baron Verulam von Hoopla. Pulling my coat closed tighter around my throat, to close out the chill in the air, I looked around before answering: “Who would like to know?”

The man stepped into the light of the streetlamp and took his hat off. “My name, sir, be Seamus O’Riordan, and I come from the Committee For Surrealist Investigation Of Claims Of The Normal. Are you the Baron von Hoopla who penned the weblog concerning Psuedo-Skepticism?”

“Well,” I stuttered. “I really mostly cribbed it from other sources. I mean, it was Marcello Truzzi’s list after all.”

“Aye,” said Seamus. “We know all about Truzzi. But we’re talking about Hoopla. Are you he?”

“Gulp.” I gulped. “Yes.” I said. “I’m Hoopla.”

“A pleasure, Mr. Hoopla.” Seamus said, extending his hand.

I extended mine back, saying: “Baron.”

“Ah, yes. Sorry.” Seamus coughed. “A pleasure . . . Baron.”

“So, what can I do for you -hic- Mr. O’Riordan?”

“Dr. O’Riordan.” he corrected.

“Really.”

“Yes.”

“Dr. O’Riordan.”

“The Committee For Surrealist Investigation Of Claims Of The Normal has been watching you for some time, Mis- ah, Baron von Hoopla, and we’ve been pleased with your sense of agnostic zeal when dealing with patapstchology. A sense lacking in all too many these sad days. We are in the process of branching out to other countries and need people who will work for us in certain regards, or act on our behalf . . . we were hoping you might be able to be the person who would act on our behalf here in the area of land which is commonly referred to as ‘Canada’.”

“I see,” I said. “Does the position pay?”

“Ah, no.” said Dr. O’Riordan.

“I see,” I said. “Alright, I’ll take it. So, what do I have to do?”

O’Riordan had already turned away. He moves fast. But, he turned back. “Eh, nothing much, really. You wait until someone tries to proves something is perfectly normal, then you investigate. It doesn’t come up much, and it’s usually fairly obviously NOT normal, so . . . uh, you let them know how it isn’t normal, and, eh . . . so on. See you.” and he walked away into the chilly night air. I decided to celebrate by having another drink.

So, yeah, I’m the Canadian Director of CSICON.