Archive for the ‘Purple Spots’ Category

Purple Spots Explained?

December 16, 2005

“The unusual dots and blots suddenly appeared on some lawns and cars in the suburbs of Pennsilvania over the past two weeks. Some people thought the spots might be de-icer falling off the wings of airplanes. Others thought it could be bird droppings. So samples were taken to Anthony Aiello, the director of horticulture for the Morris Arboretum in Chestnut Hill.

“I think it definitely is seed that birds have eaten and digested and dropped. So, I think, that’s what we’re looking at, some kind of berries that are either red or purplish and when they come out are the same color,” Aiello said.

Aiello said the samples showed to him contained “indisputable evidence”. “There’s definitely seeds in there that I can see and that’s clearly what it is,” Aiello said. Aiello also said that he has seen the same spots in his own back yard.”

Indisputable evidence, eh? That’s a bold statement.

I can think of five explanations more believable than bird-droppings:

1) A One-eyed One-horned Flying Purple People-Eater exploded in mid-flight.

2) A rainbow materialized too close to a tall-building, shattering the ‘BIV’ portion.

3) Barney the Dinosaur was jettisoned into space, but made a hasty re-entry and disintegrated.

4) The giant grapes from the old Fruit Of The Looms commercials commited suicide.

5) Prince had been learning hang-gliding in the area and becoming nervous, began to sweat profusely.

Bird droppings?? Don’t make me laugh.

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