Archive for the ‘Sacred Chao’ Category

The Hodge And The Podge

December 12, 2006

Greed, Chico:22, 6006 YD

by Vincent Verthaine, Church of Eris

The Taoists have their Yin and their Yang.
The Christians have their Good and their Evil.
The Libertarians have their Rich and their Poor.
And the Discordians have their Hodge and their Podge.

The Hodge and Podge are the two sides of the Universe: the Hodge being chaotic and Eristic, and the Podge being orderly and Aneristic.
They are represented in the Sacred Chao, in which a pentagon signifies the Podge and a Golden Apple the Hodge, and are in constant turmoil; although one side can occasionally gain a temporary victory, neither will ever defeat the other.
Thus in history, the Hodge constantly overpowers the Podge, and the Podge then responds and overpowers the Hodge in its turn.
According to the Honest Book of Truth, this is the Eristic Pattern, which “will repeat itself Five Times over Seventy Three Times, after which nothing will happen.”
As of the present, the Podge is highly ascendent, and just about everyone, from politicians to cardinals to televangelists to various other crazies thinks that the way to solve the world’s problems is to introduce even MORE order.
Most of the so-called counterestablishment and even most of the people who are going on and on about freedom believe this in a slightly different sense.
From the Podge grows bureacracy, rather pointless laws, the ascendency of organized religion, the Objectivist Movement, and most branches of calculus.
The all-time (literally) champions of the Podge are the Bavarian Illuminati.

On the other hand, there are those who realize that the situation must be brought back into balance by introducing some good, old-fashioned chaos, which will lead to freer thinking, less orthodoxy and dogmatism, more expanded minds, and and a less hilariously inefficient society.
Though our methods are many, they mainly consist of doing very weird things to break through the crust that has formed over peoples’ mindsets and allow them (or force them) to reevaluate their worldview. These people are Discordians.
Because of the inherent balance in the Sacred Chao, there is a sort of built-in defense mechanism – The Law of Eristic Escalation. The law of Eristic Escalation is:

IMPOSITION OF ORDER=ESCALATION OF CHAOS

For example, if the government were to ban all opinions other than officially sanctioned ones, an obvious attempt to impose order, the result would be massive riots (chaos).
Most people, blissfully unaware of this law, attempt to impose order anyway, with comical results.
The most dedicated, such as Confucius, are considered Eristic Avatars for their trouble.
Unfortunately, the Law does not work for anyone who is aware of it.
The cyclic reversion of the Hodge and Podge caused by the Law of Eristic Escalation takes a distinct form, which can be divided into five seasons: Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath.
Finally, the Law of Negative Reversal states that if something does not happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the opposite manner from that in which it did not happen.

Discordian Jewellery

November 28, 2006

Greed, Chico:8, 6006 YD

http://www.markdefrates.com/pages/snakchao.html

Looking Deeper Into The Sacred Chao

July 5, 2006

The Sacred Chao represents everything in the Universe, of course. On one side we have a representation of a Pentagon which represents ORDER, and on the other side there is a representation of the Apple of Eris, which represents DISORDER. Neither is “true” and neither dominates: Elementary Discordianism.

But, like all things, the Sacred Chao reveals even more upon deeper reflection . . .

The Hairless Ape mind has two components: The Pental, and the Pomal.

PENTAL: The Pental is very observant, very quick, and likes to compartmentalize everything it witnesses; the Pental is also extremely arrogant. The Pental isn’t usually aware of the Pomal, and when it is aware of its existence is very jealous and manipulative. The Pental believes itself to be the entire universe, and in a sense it is correct. The Pental IS the entire universe, at least for each of us. Everything I see is part of the Pental, everything I think about is part of the Pental, and my Pental tells me how to see and think about things. When I look at a “tree” I only “know” it is a “tree” because my Pental tells me. The Pental would have you believe that it is the only thing which exists.

POMAL: On the other hand, the Pomal has none of those qualities, in fact, to even attempt to describe the Pomal is doing it a grave disservice . . . any description or definition I gave would only be my Pental’s idea of the Pomal anyway, and would therefor be useless. The closest I will come to pinning anything on the Pomal would be to compare it with the “Tao” . . . but even that is off. The Pomal is the Pomal, and thats really all there is to say about it. Don’t let the lack of a definition trick you into believing the Pomal is lesser than the Pental however, that’s just your Pental whispering to you. The Pomal rules dreams, intuition, synchronicity, tarot, the I-Ching, and magick – perhaps even quantum physics. Anytime the Pomal pops itself into your “normal world” the Pental will immediately pounce on it, and dominate it, to show you that it is boss, in this way the Pental shows that its power is over everything, and at the same time saves itself from destruction (despite what it believes, the Pental is very fragile, and can be disrupted easily by extreme emotional jolts, heavy drugs, meditation and yoga). The Pomal’s influence on the world of the Pental is subtle, but profound.

Looking at the Sacred Chao again, with this in mind, will reveal that the image of the Chao also represents the Pental and the Pomal of the mind. The Pentagon -representing ORDER- also represents the Pental, which spreads its grid of knowledge over everything it sees and hears and simultaneously imposes its notion of “order” onto what is primal chaos in essence. The Apple of Eris -representing DISORDER- also represents the Pomal, and the vastly unnamable qualities it symbolizes.

The Sacred Chao, obviously, also represents everything else you can think of as well, from Bingo to Symphony Orchestras, but my Pental and Pomal felt like talking about themselves today.

Sacred Bull

June 2, 2005

St. Ray always lived by the three B’s, which are: Bullshit Baffles Brains. Which naturally brings us to the old adage, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.” Which, also, naturally brings us to the Discordian saying, “Bullshit makes the flowers grow, and that’s beautiful.”

Last night while discussing Discordianism with Dharma Jam I realized that the obvious companion to the Sacred Chao would be the Sacred Bull.

A primary aspect of Discordianism is the refusal to believe what one reads, and for this reason I think Sacred Bull is important. It is the most subtle form of “Think for yourself, schmuck!” that exists. Promoting bullshit forces people to think for themselves, or sink in the sludge that is life on Spaceship Earth.

So, with that in mind, I urge you to promote some Sacred Bull today.

Hail Eris. All Hail Discordia.

*****EDIT: This concept was later rewritten, while channeling Salazorian Dictator, Enrico Ritzibottom Salazar, while he was channeling in a Beirut Brothel, as The Parable Of The Sacred Bull

The Burning Bush

May 9, 2005

At a low period in my life I was seeking enlightenment. Lounging in my empty bathtub, fully clothed, I pondered the state of this sorry world. Wondering why there was so much confusion and strife afflicting so many; wondering if this was this and that was that, and whether tit really did anything for tat. Realizing that I wasn’t philosophizing anymore and merely invoking Suess I decided that it was time to move outdoors, for fresh air and sun, to seek my enlightenment in the world.

On the sidewalk I found an Oh Henry bar. Looking around, I saw nobody who seemed ready to lay a claim on it – the bar seemed to be up for grabs. I crouched down and examined it closely, without touching it, of course. I wasn’t about to become insnared by some intrepid alien or big game hunter. I didn’t detect any strings, and the sidewalk around the candy seemed kosher. The bar was mine. Snatching it up, I moved to a bench to consume it in comfort at my own leisure. It was chocolatey, it was caramely, it was nugety, it was sweet and it was gooey. It did not, however, enlighten me.

Sitting on the bench, I sighed. Where next should I seek my enlightenment? As I mulled this query over I noticed a small book on the bench next to me. Curious, I picked it up, and read the cover; it was the Collected Short Stories of O. Henry.

This was a stunning coincidence. This, undoubtedly, meant something. As I opened the book to peruse the contents I was struck by something that made the book altogether more strange – all the pages were torn out, save those between fifty-five and sixty-nine, a story entitled The Green Door. I felt this story must be of cosmic significance, and so devoured it on the spot. Here would be the answers to the cause of all the strife and confusion in the world. I read the story in a few minutes, and chuckled once or twice, was saddened at least once, and sighed at the end. The story was touching and amusing, but I did not, however, answer my questions.

I felt perplexed. I felt confused. I felt discombobulated. I did not, however, feel enlightened.

Still searching, I walked.

I walked five blocks, and was then struck down to the pavement with another stunning coincidence. A porno theatre was showing a revival of Behind The Green Door. This was a stunning synchronicity. This, undoubtedly, meant something. I paid my admission, bought another Oh Henry bar at the candy counter, and ventured into the theatre. The movie had already started as I made my way through the sickeningly clammy sound of about fifty people beating their meat in the audience. I shuffled into the back row and tried to find a seat which hadn’t been issued upon. As I sat down -just for a laugh- I began to smack the palm of my hand against the back of my neck furiously, and moan overly loud. The monkey spanking subsided for about seventeen seconds. I chuckled to myself, and began to unwrap my candy bar.

As I took the first bite I realized the movie had stopped in place on the screen. Marilyn Chambers’ legs were spread-eagled, and all her glory was center stage, so to speak. So many euphemisms which are inappropriate rattled through my brian . . . tacos and beavers should not be compared to the same part of the body described as The Mound Of Venus. As this thought fluttered through my mind I also noticed the silence in the theatre. There were no sounds of auto eroticism whatsoever, in fact my fellow patrons seemed to be petrified in the more literal sense. I became alarmed by this, but was even more alarmed when Marilyn Chambers’ bush on-screen burst into flames, and began to speak to me.

BARON VON HOOPLA, a satiny female voice called from the burning bush. YOU MADE LEVITY IN A PLACE OF SOLEMN WORSHIP.

I gulped, since there seemed little else to do under the circumstances.

HOW DO YOU STAND AGAINST THESE CHARGES? the female voice asked. Guilty, I hiccuped. I had mocked the meat-beaters. My candy bar was melting in my hand. I could feel it.

GOOD. said the voice. YOU’RE ONE OF MINE.

Who, who are you? I asked.

I YAM WHO I YAM, came the reply.

Popeye?! I exclaimed. It didn’t sound like Popeye.

NAY, I AM CALLED ERIS NANCY DISCORDIA. GODDESS OF CHAOS CONFUSION STRIFE CREATIVITY AND BUREAUCRACY. I AM THE HODGE OF THE RISING PODGE AND THE PODGE OF THE SINKING HODGE – GRAND WAZOO OF ALL THINGS FUNNY.

Why have you chosen me? I asked, not cowering as blatantly as a few minutes prior, but still cowering nonetheless.

FOR YOU ARE A GOOD APPLE. YOU ARE AWAKE ENOUGH TO QUESTION, SKEPTICAL ENOUGH TO QUESTION THE APPARENT ANSWERS, GULLIBLE ENOUGH TO FOLLOW MYSTERY, HUMOROUS ENOUGH TO MOCK THE SERIOUS AND SERIOUS ENOUGH TO AWAKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU EMBODY THE IDEALS OF THE SACRED CHAO, AND LO, I DEEM YOU A KEEPER OF IT. Onto the ceiling of the theatre, the fire from the burning bush traced out a design. It was a circle bisected by an ‘S’ shape; on one side was depicted an apple emblazoned with a ‘K’, on the other a pentagon.

It’s some for of Yin Yang? I asked.

THE YIN YANG IS A FORM OF THE SACRED CHAO. IT IS A REPRESENTATION OF THE UNIVERSE. ALL THE ANSWERS YOU SEEK WILL BE FOUND WITHIN THAT CIRCLE, WHICH IS THE SERPENT SWALLOWING ITS OWN TAIL.

That’s the answer to why there is so much strife and confusion in the world? I don’t understand . . . why an apple and a pentagon?

CHAOS IS THE ENTIRE CIRCLE, ONE HALF IS ORDER, THE OTHER DISORDER. THEY ARE BOTH NATURAL MANIFESTATIONS OF THE UNDERLYING CHAOS. ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, YOU UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. FARE THEE WELL-

Wait! One more question! What’s the best way to deal with the strife and confusion of the world?

LAUGHTER! came the reply. FARE THEE WELL-

Wait! One last question! Why Nancy??

WHAT?

Why Eris Nancy Discordia? I asked. Why Nancy?

NANCY’S A NICE NAME. FARE THEE WELL KEEPER OF MY SACRED CHAO! SPREAD MY WORD – ALL MEN SHALL BE SAILORS THEN UNTIL THE SEA SHALL FREE THEM!

Wait! I called, You stole that from Leonard Cohen!

NAY – HE STOLE THAT FROM ME.

Thus, I was enlightened.
The bush ceased to burn. The film ran forward. The manhandling kicked back in, but sounded more serene this time, like a gentle rainfall on a tin roof. I stood up and noticed a small book on the seat next to me. I took it out into the light of the lobby and read the title, ‘Principia Discordia’, I heard a female voice in the center of my head say READ IT: BELIEVE ALL OF IT, BELIEVE NONE OF IT. I walked outside, and promptly slipped on a banana peel, while thinking ‘Indeed, do many strange things come to pass.’

Hail Eris!