Archive for the ‘Scientology’ Category

First (and possibly penultimate) Contact With GD

May 25, 2006

Last night I finally made contact with GD, but what I had initially
suspected was true: DOGMA.

Alas, alas . . .

In one simple twenty-three minute conversation I was instructed of
several verboten words and topics, as well as being informed that my
pronunciation of certain ‘holy’ words was off, and instructed that I
had better believe in a “Superior Power”; I was temporarily thrown
off by all the rules and instructions, so I forget to tell him that
my Superior Power was the monumentally crazy bitch who ruled the
Multiverse. I feel certain the dupe would have believed me.

Next time.

A physical meeting is tentatively set up for next Wednesday, in which
time I will prepare many questions I currently have, although I
expect I will go no further with them. I don’t like the dogma of the
Catholic Church, I don’t like the dogma of the Scientologists and I
certainly don’t like the dogma of GD any better.

The Church Of Scientology

May 2, 2006

The Church Of Scientology has been taking a lot of flack lately, and I’m getting the impression they are wondering why. This is my take on why I think they are being persecuted.

First, before we go any further, allow me state that I find Scientology highly suspect, but on the other hand I find all organized religion to be highly suspect, so I try to keep an open mind about all of them, Scientology included. I used to make fun of the wacky ideas of Xenu and the thousands of thetans we all apparently are filled to the brink with, but over the last year I’ve noticed that all this ‘information’ about Scientology I had been making fun of was found on the internet, nowhere else – not exactly the best place to find unbiased objective information; so, I decided that until I found out more about the actual inner-workings of the Church there was no need to make fun.

However, having said that, here is why I believe people mock Scientology so much: because they all take it so badly. It’s like the kid in school who, when poked with a stick, would erupt into a crying tantrum and beat the ground with feet and fists. It’s funny to see someone freak out, and nobody freaks out faster and louder than the Church of Scientology.

As if that weren’t enough, there is the massive secrecy. The Church of Scientology has all its religious paraphernalia copyrighted, and simply depicting an E-Meter, or some other device, in most publications without permission is enough to have a large lawsuit dropped onto your lap by the Church. Don’t expect any University courses to be delving into the theology of Dianetics and Scientology any time soon.

L. Ron Hubbard was, by most accounts, an extremely paranoid man, and this has filtered into the very foundations of the Church he started; secrecy is part of the foundation of Scientology . . . need an example? Apart from the admittedly suspect info found about Xenu and Thetans on the internet most people cannot even name a single aspect of the Scientology ‘religion’ – is there any actual religion, or is it simply a philosophy? I can tell people at least a bit about Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Taoism, Catholicism, and a few other religions . . . but what do I really know about Scientology? That the births are silent? That’s not a lot to go on.

So, Scientology, I urge you, if you don’t want to be treated like a massive cult anymore, its high time you stopped acting like a massive cult.

TomKat Pod

July 5, 2005

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am all for free speech, free expression and freedom in general. I believe that anything that doesn’t hurt others should be allowed.

Having said that, I am sick to the gills of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I don’t buy the relationship for a second, and yet also don’t give a shit if it is a sham or not. I don’t care. Do not care.

But . . .

There are obviously people out there who DO care. There must be. Why else would everyone continue to devote so much time to them? Somewhere out there are people who care deeply whether these two shooting stars will find some company on the long slow burn-out toward obscurity.

So . . .

To please people like myself, and yet also please those who care about the Scientology Guru and his soon-to-be-Bride, I propose creating a space pod that is furnished with all the necessities of daily life here on Spaceship Earth, and then shooting the couple into outerspace. The pod would be equipped with several cameras so that those who want to can witness Tom chew all over Katie’s face (daring another killer-dose of mouth-ring herpes to appear) and jumping up and down on the furniture, as is his current wont. The space pod will be broadcast to a single channel at the end of the cable spectrum, dubbed The TomKat Channel, and those who do not want to ever set cones and rods on the two will never have to surf to that particular channel ever again.

Everyone wins.

So, when can we get this plan in action?

I’ll look into it.

Until then, Hail Eris!