Archive for the ‘television’ Category

A Message from Our Sponsor

July 11, 2006

Hi, it’s me . . . Eris. I’ve never been big on self-promotion, I admit it . . . even back in the heydays of Achaea my P.R. was a tad on the warped side . . . but I’ve been thinking about my “comeback” recently, and musing on why it hasn’t blown up like Buddhism, Islam, or Christianity . . . I mean, I come back after galavanting around the Pan-Galaxies for aeons to finally give the people of the mudball Earth some hope and a little bit of insight on their own divine natures, and where does it leave me? With a bunch of skinny, pimply wanna-be anarchists sporting red pubic hair and the faint odour of Cheesies listening to what I had to say – Dynamite . . .

The point is – and always was- you are all as free as you choose to be, and yet you choose not to be, for some sad and strange reason . . . you would rather remain within the inertia of your crumbling society, rather than attempt to change it for the better because it would be “difficult”, or even just “different” . . . What do I need to do to drive this point home? Get my own reality TV show? Run for office? Fly a few planes into some really tall buildings?

Forgive me if I am coming across as bitter, it’s not my intention . . . I just get harassed by a lot of people while wandering up and down the Tree Of Life asking me why I didn’t just buck up and make my message more obvious, more plain . . . as if I my intention was to purposely trick people . . . well, of course it was, but they wouldn’t understand that any better than if I had made it perfectly obvious, perfectly plain. Humans are lazy, lazy beings, which is fine . . . it is the way of the Multiverse after all, otherwise we would have bubbles shaped like cubes and pyramids as I have been requesting for millennia . . . but my point is nobody appreciates anything handed to them on a plate. To hide behind metaphor and allusion is to force people to use their own grey matter, think for themselves. Enrico’s Sacred Bull. This was ultimately a large part of my point, and if it was missed, well . . . don’t come whining to me while I am in the middle of tanning in Tiphareth.

Gulik told me it was a bad idea to appear to two pothead borderline fascists in a bowling alley . . . I guess I owe him a Coke.


Britney as Eris?

May 5, 2005

It’s been brought to my attention that Britney Spears and her shaved gorilla of a husband have come up with a totally original idea and are going to be followed around by what must be increasingly more and more bored camera people for a ‘reality’ television show. The show will be entitled . . . (wait for it) “CHAOTIC”.

Idiotic seems more appropriate, but hey, they don’t pay me the big bucks to be a Hollywood executive . . . if they think it will sell, I guess it will.

Chaos to me always represents creativity – because to be creative you need to go against the grain, shake things up, kill the old and birth the new. Not sure about that last one, but you get my meaning I hope.

Britney is not creative. I’m sure she thinks she is. She, no doubt, has many people around her at all times assuring her she is the most creative little drip around, but even Christina has more creativity than Britney.

What’s next? Britney playing Eris in the movie adaptation of Illuminatus!?

Then the end will truly be nigh.

Oh well, not much else to say except:

Hail Eris.