Archive for the ‘Wicca’ Category

Reasons Why Nobody Takes Wicca Seriously

March 8, 2007

Lust, Groucho:34, 6006 YD

Original Page Here

For those of you who have never heard of it, and I expect there are many, Wicca is one of several new-age “religions” with myriad traditions, some that date to prehistoric animism, others that were made up last week by a hairstylist in Oregon. Unenlightened types typically misidentify them as witches and shun them for being satan worshipers, whereas enlightened types correctly identify them as pretentions cretins and shun them for being gullible, obnoxious, shallow, and self-centered.

Kinda like Valley girls with no fashion sense.

Luckily, it’s a do-it-yourself kind of cult, so they don’t gather en masse for their rituals and then descend in smaller masses upon any restaurant that offers a buffet for under two dollars. Instead, they sit at home and chant over a bowl of something the cat coughed up after smoking whatever happened to be in the spice rack – as if people whose daily feeding ritual includes peeling back foil to expose the ‘tater tots could have any other use or tarragon or chervil – all the while hoping that one day, maybe one of their “spells” will work.

Eko, Eko Zomilak
Warts begone and come not back

All the same, it’s interesting to know that all you need is a second-hand bathrobe and a Bead-dazzlerTM to start your own religion and proclaim yourself Most Laureled Goat-Boy of the Night Goddess Beulah-Mae, and if you can find a pack of pinheads who will be impressed, you’re on your way to becoming an institution.

I think that’s how the Pope got started.